The Gentle Discipline Book How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children Amazon.co.uk: Sarah Ockwell-Smith: 9780349412412: Books
£6.00
| Publisher : | Piatkus (2 Mar. 2017) |
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| Language : | English |
| Paperback : | 288 pages |
| ISBN-10 : | 0349412413 |
| ISBN-13 : | 978-0349412412 |
| Dimensions : | 15.4 x 2.1 x 23.1 cm |
| Best Sellers Rank: | 13 in Raising Teenagers |
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| Customer reviews: | 1,916 ratings |
Christina –
5.0 out of 5 stars My favourite parenting book
My favourite parenting book, well except for other books by Sarah Ockwell-Smith. This one is particularly helpful if you’re looking at disciplining your child(ren) in a supportive way, not punishing but rather teaching and guiding, with lots of empathy. Which is my aim. Sarah Ockwell-Smith writes in a way that she doesn’t tell you exactly what to do, as she doesn’t claim to be the expert on your child. You are. So if you’re looking for step-by-step instructions, this isn’t for you. If you’d like greater understanding of your child and some lovely ideas and insight, then I highly recommend this book.
25 people found this helpful
Marc Meyer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Reliable parenting book (at last)
I need to read it again from time to time. It’s an important read to be a better parent. I especially like the chapter on evidence based brain development as often parenting books only offer the experience of the author.
One person found this helpful
Jenna West –
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has helped me so much
This book has helped me so much. My daughter has responded really well to the suggestions in this book that I have put into action and I think it’s helped me communicate so much better with her. I totally believe in the philosophy of this book and is been perfect for me. I recommend every parent read it. My bond with my daughter is so precious and this book has helped me appreciate things from her point of view and will I believe help me prevent future problems that often come from hard discipline that my parents did with me.So insightful, honest and helpful.
2 people found this helpful
Shannon –
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting read!
Loved this book, very interesting information and also gives usable techniques to use! I’m going to try and implement this into my family lives.
Abc –
5.0 out of 5 stars Great insight
Read this ( and still go back to) book with my first born. I re read it when going through different phases. Also reading it with my second. Be prepared to change your behaviours if you want your child to.
One person found this helpful
logan.uk –
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book I read on discipline
One of the best books I read on discipline! I wish I had read it before my child was born. But it’s never too late so I can’t recommend it enough.
4 people found this helpful
Malaika Saad –
5.0 out of 5 stars Would recommend
If you heard about positive parenting before and want to learn more this is one of few books I can recommend. However this book won’t give you enough knowledge about positive parenting I would advice to look for the books written by Laura Markham
One person found this helpful
Catherine galston –
2.0 out of 5 stars Struggling to get through it
Trying to get into the book but I find the author waffles so much, there’s a lot of waffling instead of just getting to the point and there’s not a lot of strategies for parents hmmmm not sure il bother reading the rest
Tirma –
5.0 out of 5 stars Science based approach for the win
I love Sarah’s books. They’ve kept me sane throughout the first couple of years when my twins were babies and I hope they’ll help me raise two good human beings at the end of our journey.This book addresses one of those thorny topics for which everyone has a different opinion. Even in my house, we can’t agree on the approach! At least I feel like I’ve got science on my side thanks to Sarah.
11 people found this helpful
Mrs Isabel Burge –
5.0 out of 5 stars Having kids doesn’t have to be about shouting
This book is written for parent by a parent! It’s not patronising but clear and thought provoking that you think why have I fallen down the mainstream path of disciplining. My 3 yr responds so much better since adopting this mindset and we have all noticed the benefits ! You know when she is feeling disconnected and needs more one on one time !! It’s not a quick fix and some areas will take longer but quite simply – IT WORKS !!
7 people found this helpful
Sparkly B –
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for parenting support.
Amazing book that gives you food for thought whether it’s a toddler or a teen you’re working with. Highly recommend this to all parents and particularly those wanting to find a gentle route. This is neither authoritarian or permissive. Perfect for parenting support.
2 people found this helpful
susan palmer –
4.0 out of 5 stars Great book Helps me understand my toddler and also helps …
Great bookHelps me understand my toddler and also helps me be more patient
2 people found this helpful
Sotiris G –
5.0 out of 5 stars Wish I had read it earlier
Super helpful for making you think about the toddler’s perspective
One person found this helpful
N I. –
5.0 out of 5 stars Another informative read by Sarah Ockwell-Smith!
A fantastic insight by an experienced parent. A book written to give understanding of the mind and behaviours of a child and give parents confidence.
2 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Read this!!
Such an easy to read insightful look into how to disciplineI’ll be adopting all the methods for my littles who argue loads. I can already see ways to work on this and hopefully have them become friends for life.
4 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book. As a parent to two boys and …
Excellent book. As a parent to two boys and a paediatric clinical psychologist, I would recommend this book (and others by the same author) time and time again. Very accessible and easy to understand, but also apply to daily life.
10 people found this helpful
Megster –
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book
Great book by a wonderful author. Definitely a must read for any parent.
2 people found this helpful
Laura palmer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Really bloody helpful!
Has really made a difference with my son. I like the suggestions and also the suggestions as to why this makes sense to a child. Really easy to read
4 people found this helpful
Danielle Curzey –
4.0 out of 5 stars Good book
Easy to read, great advice
One person found this helpful
Samantha Watts –
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
Brilliant to be reassured I am don’t the right thing for my children and gives confidence in parenting in a respectful loving way.
One person found this helpful
jedinburgh –
2.0 out of 5 stars No help at all
This book offers no practical solutions and only adds to parenting guilt, the general sense being that if your child has tantrums it’s because the parent is failing to understand or give them what they need. Fine for parents of very easygoing children who are distracted at the drop of a hat, but no help if you are struggling with tantrums or oppositional behaviour. Instead I suggest buying “How to Talk so Little Kids will listen” which is relatable and helpful whilst still putting the emphasis on gentle parenting.
19 people found this helpful
Erika Baker –
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
I found this book really helpful to think about how I wanted to respond to my son. I think her books make a lot of sense.
One person found this helpful
csatikati –
5.0 out of 5 stars Huge help for peaceful parenting
The content of this book resonates perfectly with my instincts as a parent. It gave me lots of practical help how to be a better mother to my children.
2 people found this helpful
Rebekah –
5.0 out of 5 stars A sanity saver
My 3rd book of Sarah’s.Not only are her suggestions helpful and useful but the explanation behind why the behaviours are happening make it much easier to deal with them or ride them out.
5 people found this helpful
Joanna M –
5.0 out of 5 stars Modern and realistic advice on raising children
Thoroughly researched advice on raising children. Makes you feel happy that being kind to your child is the right thing. Helps parents understand importance of empathy for little ones.
3 people found this helpful
Kay Whitfield –
5.0 out of 5 stars A positive and simple approach
A great read more of a philosophy than a quick fix to specific issues but also has sections on specific aspects of behaviour.
One person found this helpful
Jade –
2.0 out of 5 stars Dissapointment.
This hasn’t worked for us at all. Some aspects of the advice are successful and helpful and I completely get the understanding behind it but this doesn’t work with every child unfortunately. It’s been extremely hit and miss with our daughter. We’ve tried what the book has suggested but she reacts well as and when she sees fit. I think we will unfortunately have to ride it out with her behaviour (three years). Will persevere with the books ethos but as for it working as well as other reviews have suggested it certainly doesn’t for every child no matter how hard you try to stick to the discipline suggestions. A little dissapointed to be honest.
8 people found this helpful
Krisztina Bona –
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read
Very useful. It’s a must read for every parent.
2 people found this helpful
Amazon Kunde –
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommend
Thank you so much for all ur words …chapter 14 i read often x
One person found this helpful
Lisa –
5.0 out of 5 stars A great read!
Having already read the authors Gentle Sleep book I was keen to read this too. Sarah doesn’t disappoint! I found it a reassuring read and have recommended to others.
2 people found this helpful
Tiago M. –
5.0 out of 5 stars Like a gym for the mind… of a parent
Reading books on parenting has become like taking my dad brain to the gym: I train my thinking, so that my emotions and reasoning are sound and strong when my family needs me. And this book has been a gorgeous gym I will most certainly revisit many times in the future.
2 people found this helpful
Munsif Mufalil –
4.0 out of 5 stars Bringing up a child is no easy feat but books like these help to give an …
Bringing up a child is no easy feat but books like these help to give an understanding and grounding knowledge to work with and cater it to the child. My wife loved this book and it has helped us. My sister also borrowed it from us. Would recommend it.
One person found this helpful
Cleo J. –
5.0 out of 5 stars Effective parenting strategies!
I’m a big fan of Sarah’s books. I’d read this before but borrowed it from a friend so just wanted my own copy. Good reminders in there and kind approach all round!
2 people found this helpful
Nicola –
5.0 out of 5 stars … I have been making that was confusing to my poor little ones
Within a few chapters I noticed a difference in way I was interacting with my 2 under 5’s and realising some mistakes I have been making that was confusing to my poor little ones. Thank you so much to Sarah ockwell Smith, I have not finished this book but would recommend it to anyone looking after kids. Im thinking of purchasing the potty book after this one.
4 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Another great book from Sarah Ockwell-Smith
Another great book from Sarah Ockwell-Smith. As always Sarah gives advice that I instinctively feel comfortable with. Truly gentle ways to help our children with many of the things that they struggle with.One of the things that I love most about this book (and Sarah’s other books) is that it is so easy to understand! A must for tired parents who may only have 5 minutes here or there to read!
4 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars Best ‘parenting’ book available
Amazing book I wish every parent and caregiver could read it! Genuinely think it would change the world if they did
2 people found this helpful
Sophiebeth –
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read
I really enjoyed this book as a parent I use gentle discipline methods. I love that the advice is practical and reminds you it’s ok to have an off day.
One person found this helpful
Shannon Hollywood –
5.0 out of 5 stars A Discipline Delight
This book has helpes me navigate the pit falls of discipline ensuring that I work in partnership with my children rather than against them! It has helped me develp a relationship of understanding and respect with them which I draw upon to guide and teach them! Great read from start to finish☺
2 people found this helpful
Elena Kasabova-Petkova –
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read!
A must read for every parent!
Shula Sims –
5.0 out of 5 stars Really helpful
Love this book. Really helpful and insightful book . Written in a way it’s easy to dip into and case studies and examples . Everyone is different but this book affirmed all my intuition about parenting and backed them up.
3 people found this helpful
Ro-Skyler lupin –
4.0 out of 5 stars Just as described
Very helpful little book for anyone interested in gentle parenting at any level
niki –
5.0 out of 5 stars Children watch us more than they listen to us
This is a very detailed and comprehensive book about understanding your child and disciplining them in a way that encourages teaching and learning and not punishing and rewarding. It is a far removed approach from how I was disciplined and even the way I disciplined my now grown up children. I particularly like the message that is on more than one page “work with a child – not against.The author mentions the definition of discipline as found in the Oxford dictionary as being “The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour using punishment to correct disobedience. I am pleased to say that this book does not follow that example.Some subjects discussed that stood out for me were the section on sleep and the graph showing the average sleep a child should have based on their age, within a 24 hour period, Sensory overload as well as the importance of a good diet.I feel that the author’s practical style of explaining gentle discipline in a way that we can all understand and follow. It is about mutual respect for your child and your child having mutual respect for you and allows for the balance of power. An example she gave was with her own children and how through communicating correctly and being patient and empathetic to them, you can often negotiate and work out the best solution and a suitable outcome for both of you. This does in no way mean you are going to be a pushover or let them get away with things, it just means more tolerance and understanding, based on their emotional skills that are appropriate for their age and ability to understand.There is a lot of reference to specialists such as Jean Piaget and the “Schemas” as well as Maslow (A child’s hierarchy-including diagram). Other examples include Schemas in child early development, ToM (Theory of mind), and the Vark model (the 4 styles of learning – Auditory, verbal, visual and kinesthetic).I bought this book mainly to understand some of the more complex subjects and I am very pleased that this book included a section on the ones I wanted to understand in more detail, these include PDA, Asperger Syndrome, Adhd, ODD, and ASD.This is an amazing book and I would strongly recommend it to any parent/grandparent, regardless of their child’s age or even if they have children themselves. It is a practical book for anyone interested in the subject of child discipline and this book covers everything that you could possibly want to know.
28 people found this helpful
Jemma Newton –
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I’d known about this book sooner!
I have long been an fan of gentle parenting but somewhere along the way I lost myself and I foolishly did what I thought was expected of me when disciplining my rather “challenging” child to try to put an end to his behaviour. An incident at school which nearly led to him being suspended made me re-think – after all if shouting worked he wouldn’t behave the way he did! – and I ordered this, and another of the author’s books. I am so glad I did. It reminded me that every behaviour is communication and that rather than punishing my son, I needed to investigate why he was behaving in that way but also to really give him the tools to make the right choices. It’s a long road and I have a lot of work to do but I feel like we are working on it together now and that’s all I ever wanted – to be a family unit ❤️
2 people found this helpful
CatanQ –
4.0 out of 5 stars Wish more parents would read it
This book is great for making you stop and think about things from a child’s perspective. It focuses on helping your children navigate their emotions, rather than just using quick fixes to either punish or ignore them. The tone can be a little preachy in places, and I don’t agree with everything (for example if a child doesn’t want to eat what you’ve cooked- the gentle method means they can eat it later, or you offer them something else from a limited range- eg toast or cereal- I kind of see the merit in this for a teenager, but my three year old would just eat cereal every meal if I said this). Also ‘wanting a bit of an evening back’ is seen as a bad reason to want to sort out the bedtime routine, and yet she also states how important self cafe is, which seems a bit contradictory. On the whole though, the overall approach is one o really agree with, and it’s helped me approach my toddlers behaviour in new, and much more successful ways. Less prescriptive advice than some books, but actually I don’t mind that so much, as really there are so many different scenarios when it comes to how your children behave, that I found this over-arching method more useful as I can apply it to all situations, or try to anyway.
36 people found this helpful
Inga Rimar –
5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent must read
I cannot recommend this book enough. It helps me a lot with to handle my toddler’s big emotions as well as mine, helps me to understand his behaviour and guides me towards being a better parent to my kids. Every parent’s must-read!
One person found this helpful
Vhawth –
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting, thought-provoking alternative to the naughty step.
I’m definitely a fan of Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s philosophy that children learn well through a gentle approach, while punishments often don’t work; it seems to have worked so far for us. I started reading her books round about the time that I was bewildered by the range of disciplinarian approaches to looking after babies telling me to ignore her cries when my instincts were to respond. The ‘Gentle Sleep Book’ gave me the confidence that I wasn’t going to harm the kid by paying attention to her, and from there on I’ve found that Sarah has a lot of wise and well-informed things to say that seem to suit us. Now our kid is a toddler I think this book is helpful and will probably keep coming back to it. The essence is that it’s possible to set rules and boundaries without demeaning or humiliating the child, and instead treating discipline as learning. Although that looks a bit hippie as I write it, much of it is common sense if you put yourself into the child’s position, and I’d say it has helped me at this stage in our child’s life. We’ll see what happens next!
6 people found this helpful
Becky –
5.0 out of 5 stars Game changer
I bought this book amongst many other parenting books and this is the one that really resonated with me. I hated that I had become a shouty parent, and my 5 year old was mimicking my behaviour and shouting back! The book really helped me understand my 5 year old and now those behaviours that previously bothered me seem a lot less bothersome… I know she isn’t “naughty” she’s learning. Equally some of the parenting techniques around control, empathy and connection etc have actually made a huge difference to our whole family.
3 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars We’ll balanced and easy to read
I’ve read many parenting books by the likes of Dr Markham etc and was wondering what this would have to offer…. There’s a nice background of the science of cognitive development and some easy to use strategies. Nothing groundbreaking, if you’ve read similar books before but I still came away thinking I’d picked up a few nee techniques and tweaks to my I deal with situations. If you’re looking for advice and haven’t read any parenting books I’d recommend this as a great place to start. Easy to read but not preachy. Thanks Sarah for taking the time to put this together!
6 people found this helpful
Silmarillion –
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended!
I knew before my baby was born that I wanted to raise him by being respectful of his needs and his level of development, and Sarah has helped me to form my style of parenting and gave it a name – gentle parenting. The hardest aspect of this is happening now, as he’s 3 and needs boundaries, guidance and support to navigate his new world. This book gives me the support and guidance I need to be able to support and guide him instead of using “hard discipline” expected by our society. It’s well written, backed by science, and it’s a real approach for real parents to use.I regularly refer back to Gentle Discipline, especially during difficult patches to give my the confidence to help us both get through the tough times.
10 people found this helpful
MemyselfandI –
5.0 out of 5 stars An accessible and helpful book
I bought the Kindle book with audio and mostly listened to the audio which is so helpful when you have young children (though I’m annoyed it’s now half the price I paid for it just a few weeks ago!)The book itself exceeded my expectations and I’d highly recommend it. I found it gave solid explanations of child brain development and helpful advice for dealing with difficult situations with a whole range of age groups so I will be referring back to it and I liked the real life case Q&As. I also liked the personal tone and how SOS talks about her own weak spots and gives examples of dealing with her own children. Towards the end she also includes short chapters about dealing with criticism, getting your partner on board and tips for not giving up when it gets tough which I hadn’t found in any other books on this topic.I hesitated buying this book for weeks because I wasn’t sure if it would offer anything new (I’ve read most of the main gentle disciple books) but I’m glad I did as it certainly does.
10 people found this helpful
Mrs O –
4.0 out of 5 stars A very supportive and informative book.
I have found this book very helpful. Already following the gentle parenting method but not feeling so successful in it as she’s got older this book has helped guide me back onto the path.Focusing on the child’s perspective to help work through their emotions with practical advise, I have found it a great place to refer to when doubting if I’m handling something effectively.An easy read full of great advise.
5 people found this helpful
Roxanne –
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic series
I’ve purchased all of Sarah’s books – it’s no coincidence that her initials are SOS.This is an age appropriate guide on how to discipline your child in a a way that coordinates with their development.
MertleL –
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend
As a parent and an experienced early years teacher, I would highly recommend this book. Children are sadly often very misunderstood by our society, which I agree, often places unrealistic expectations on their capabilities. I agree that the mainstream approach to discipline, which is through rewards and punishments, doesn’t work in the long term as a main approach and only leads to short term results on a superficial level.This book explains what is normal behaviour for children and outlines a gentle approach for managing difficult behaviours and emotions, such as prevention, empathy, consistency, giving choices, reasoning and direct consequences for older children. I like that the author adopts a 70/30 approach meaning that the aim is for gentle parenting for the majority of the time, whilst recognising that there will be times when this is not possible. She is not saying we need to be ‘perfect’, but we need to recognise that we are models to our children and they will learn from our responses.
64 people found this helpful
Madeleine McGrath –
5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant book!
This book has been a fantastic help for my family and I! Having a clear and easy to understand outline of how our brain matures and develops has given me the patience and insight i needed at this point of my parenting journey.I found the book easy to read, and to re-read! I go back and read chapters again as different issues arise.I have been putting in place many of the suggestions and am finding it to be so helpful and reassuring. Especially about sibling rivalry and juggling two children at bedtime.Its given me confidence in my abilities and has also given me strategies that i so badly needed to help me overcome my personal hurdles as a parent (losing my temper). I feel my bond and connection with my children had deepened and i am enjoying the benefits of this. Personally recommended to many of my friends.
3 people found this helpful
Christopher R –
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read!
It raises some good points and is worth a read to provide support to parents and teach you how to support your child through their behaviour issues. I didn’t read the entirety (maybe I will next time things get tough) The best tip I read, and still apply every day, was to ask my tantruming toddler if he needs help. He invariably says ‘yes’ and begins to calm, wanting to hold hands or cuddle. I’m not saying it will work for everyone but, as adults, children need our help to manage their emotions and this book helps you to see that.
5 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
3.0 out of 5 stars Good for teenagers not really toddlers
Better for older kids. Doesn’t really give practical advice for toddlers
One person found this helpful
Elizabeth –
4.0 out of 5 stars Essential parenting companion
I constantly refer to this book; when I’m struggling to understand my 4 year old’s behaviour and to check my discipline methods are appropriate and effective. I strongly encourage all parents to take a more Gentle approach to their relationships with children and this book is a supportive, informative, comforting tool to help parents reflect on their own attitudes, beliefs, behaviour and language to develop respectful relationships with their children.
2 people found this helpful
Natalie –
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic books to raise happy children.
I love how well researched Sarah’s books are and I recommend them to all parents. Gentle parenting is not a fastbfix but it WORKS!!! Understand why your child behaves how they do. Get into their head and learn what their world feels like. This is a great gift to them and to you. my relationship with my kids couldn’t be better thanks to these books
7 people found this helpful
Michael Bell –
5.0 out of 5 stars I love that it is all evidence based and really focuses …
I’m a big fan of Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Her approach just makes so much sense to me and I find it really reassuring. I love that it is all evidence based and really focuses on understanding the baby/child. Her books are definitely my parenting bibles and if i ever doubt myself or am unsure how to handle something for the best outcome for my daughter then I always turn to her books or blog. I am very much against harsher approaches that Gina Ford and Supernanny take and find they are damaging and do not have long term benefits like gentle parenting does so it is great to know there are alternative ways to parent
3 people found this helpful
Emily McFadyen –
5.0 out of 5 stars Practical tips to keep referring back to
Having read all of Sarah’s other books I bought this to help in the future with our one year old. I feel her gentle approach- respecting the child’s needs and understanding what their brains are really capable of, is so important. She doesn’t offer quick fixes, but practical tips and advice on how to gently nurture your child whilst all the time ensuring they feel loved unconditionally. With so many young people suffering from mental health problems these days, her approach looks at the long term-bringing up confident children, who feel valued and respected, but understand boundaries and consequences of their actions.
2 people found this helpful